Beadnell Alternative Flower Show

Beadnell’s unique Alternative Flower Show is back for one final time. A last chance to flaunt garden failures and celebrate culinary calamities.

Sunday, 11 August 2013

Beadnell Women’s Institute Hall

Entries to be staged 10am – 12pm

No charge for entries


Adults £2 including home made refreshments

Children 12 years or under free

In aid of Beadnell Christmas Lights

As ever the prizes will match the standard of the entries. Please be sure to read the rules carefully, winging afterwards will be ignored as ‘attention seeking’.All the main categories are open to individuals, adults or children, teams or families.

We hope you have as much fun participating and attending as we have organising.

  • As in the past, this year’s judge will have no qualifications. Pseudonyms may be used for sensitive categories.
  • Rival entries may NOT be sabotaged. Weed slashing will not be tolerated.
  • Due to inflation this year’s prizes will be 3.4% more pathetic than we planned.
  • Second hand cup for ‘Most points in Show’. Individual prizes for each category.
  • Winners of cups must promise not to clean or lose them. We might want to use them in another 20 years.
  • Entries must be removed by 5pm.
  • (The Health Inspector is due to visit at 5.30 and the ‘Ladies Downhill Swimming Team’ have the Hall booked for 6pm).


1. Super Weed – Tallest, longest, most prolific etc. Each to be judged on its individual merits

2. Smallest carrot.

3. Bog Garden in a container.

4.Most imaginative use of a Flower Pot.

5. Mankiest Apple – On health grounds nothing contagious to humans please.

6. Most mis-shapen vegetable – A chance for your curious caulis and bandy-legged beetroot etc.

7. Most unusual Jam – Who can forget Tadpole and Walnut!

8. Most original use of a packet mix.

9. Cooking Disaster.

10. Most unusual miniature garden.

11. Worst Pot Plant – Remember   we run an automatic check for ‘Brain Death’.

12. Most well used item of gardening equipment.

13. Most boring poem.

14. Anything else!



1. Scariest Mini Scarecrow.

2. Best decorated flowerpot.

3. Animal made from fruit or veg.

4. Most lifelike drawing of a member of your family.



  • Cheating is encouraged and will be awarded extra points.
  • Use of steroids is prohibited.
  • Unusual amounts of body hair will be viewed with suspicion and may lead to gossip.


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